Government Affairs Blog

Warning: do not feed the feral beasts

Following Prime Minister Blair’s speech outlining his concerns about the feral beast problem, signs have now been posted warning Cabinet Ministers, backbenchers and Opposition Ministers not to feed this dangerous group.

Tony Blair argued that things have got much worse over the ten years that his Government has been in office.  He conceded that New Labour had played its part despite the efforts of the Government gamekeeper, Alistair Campbell, to control this feral pack.  This is why the Government has now acted.

Since the speech there has been a lot of soul searching among the beasts, their prey and those that defend them.  Some claim that the problem goes back hundreds of years.

Andrew Marr, part feral part house trained, has written a history of the pack: My Trade.  He traces feral behaviour back to the beginnings of the printing press.

Others say the mistake was made in the 1980s.  For centuries the feral beasts congregated in an area known as Fleet Street.  There was Cabinet level discussion in Mrs Thatcher’s Government as to whether or not this area should be declared a national park.  The effect would be to give the press pack somewhere they could roam freely.

Campaigners balked at this idea as unworthy.  They claimed the only answer to the problem was to let the feral beasts back in the wild.  The most prominent activist, Rupert Murdoch, opened the gates and settled some of the pack in Wapping.  Others then spread out to Canary Wharf and the City. 

It was in City Road that a variant on the species appeared.  The Independent feral beasts evolved in the mid 1980s.  They are of particular anguish to the outgoing Prime Minister.

Some in the debate have defended these feral hungry newshounds.  Peter Oborne, spokesperson for the beasts, has denied that they are that feral.  He says that most of the time they simply want to be left to do their job.  Others point out that it is rare for the pack to go after a Cabinet Minister but for the ones who do, and succeed in forcing a resignation, develop a taste for the hunt.  

The Government has said, for the time being, it will not bring in legislation to deal with the problem.

Simon Goldie is Head of Communication at The Chartered Institute of Taxation – www.tax.org.uk - and a member of the CIPR GAG committee